19. Patterns of behaviour of Metal Constitutional Factors
Chapter contents
Introduction142
Patterns of behaviour of a Metal CF142
The main issues for a Metal CF143
Responses to the issues144
Introduction
This chapter describes some of the most important behaviour patterns that are typical of a Metal CF. Some aspects of a person’s behaviour can be observed in the treatment room. Others can only be discerned from the patient’s description of themselves and their life. As stated in the previous chapters, behaviour can be an indicator of a patient’s diagnosis but it can only be used to confirm the CF. It should always be used in conjunction with colour, sound, emotion and odour, which are the four primary methods of diagnosis. Once the CF is confirmed the patterns of behaviour may, however, support the practitioner’s diagnosis and be used for feedback.
The origin of the behaviours was described in Chapter 7. The imbalance of the Element of the CF creates instability or impairment of the associated emotion. Thus specific negative emotional experiences are more likely to occur to one CF as opposed to another. The behavioural traits described in this chapter are often the responses to these negative experiences. In the case of Metal, people often experience feelings of loss and being worthless and are responding to this.
Patterns of behaviour of a Metal CF
The balanced Element
People with a healthy Metal Element can both feel loss and move on. They take in the richness of life in order to feel satisfied and accept that when something is over they must let go. The Lungs allow people to take in qi from the heavens. The Large Intestine allows them to let go of all that they have accumulated and that is no longer of use. When a person is able to take in and let go, their life has quality and meaning. If they don’t take in, they feel empty inside. If they don’t let go they become congested with waste.
People form attachments as they move through their lives. They become especially attached to the things that are important and nourishing to them. The attachment may be to people, such as parents, friends and partners, but can also be to a beloved pet or possession, to a religious belief, or to certain beliefs or ideas. The Metal Element allows people to connect with these aspects of life and to experience their significance and value. This connection allows people to fully participate in life.
At different stages of life people change their attachments. They must be able to let go and move on. For instance, when children leave home both the parents and children may experience sadness and a sense of loss. Experiencing the sadness allows them to loosen the bonds of their attachment. They can grow and mature from the experience and move on to become connected to whatever becomes significant in the next stage of their life.
Formative events for a Metal CF
Metal CFs may feel that something is lacking in their lives but find it difficult to put their finger on what it is. This is because they may not have really lost anything at all. Their longing is for something that is there but of which they are unaware.
Although it is likely that people are born with their CF, many of their experiences, especially emotional ones, are also coloured by it. Many Metal CFs feel that they weren’t given positive acknowledgement as children, however much they actually received. As a result they reach adulthood never really knowing that they are worthwhile human beings. They may grieve that this quality is missing, although they may only be aware of a vague sense of melancholy and lack of self-worth.
Traditionally it is the father’s role to instil in children a sense of their own value. It can be early events in relation to the father or a ‘father figure’ that are connected to the Metal CF’s feelings of worthlessness. Metal CFs may have been given cuddles, love and security as children but they especially need to be told how well they did and how important they are. Because Metal is their constitutional imbalance, they may always feel they lack true value, but sensitive parenting can partially compensate for this.
Often, from the viewpoint of a child, the father is the ultimate authority and arbiter of right and wrong. The relationship to the father is vitally important to Metal CFs. A few lose their fathers early in their lives and may be unable to come to terms with the loss. Some may have a distant connection and be aware of a lack of closeness. Many yearn to feel more connected with their father during childhood. They may still yearn for that intimacy when they are adults.
Sometimes there has been a strong bond but they are in awe of their father. They may have difficulty letting go of this as they fail to see him as an ordinary flawed human being. Later in life nobody can ever live up to the idealised vision they have of their father. This can create difficulties in their marriages and working lives.
A Metal CF described her relationship with her father as a contradiction. He was a great influence on her as well as a huge problem. He complimented her in front of other people but never gave her personal attention when they were on their own. Later on she realised that she always tended to turn other people into father figures and put them on pedestals. ‘It takes a long time for me to see people as human beings – I give people far too much respect and I tend not to see their failings. I put them beyond criticism, though I can be very hard on myself.’
Partly as a result of these issues, many Metal CFs feel a little distanced and disconnected from other people. They may struggle to take in acknowledgement but at the same time crave it. People with other CFs may find this easier. Their healthy Lung and Large Intestine allow them to take in recognition and to feel connected to others, as well as allowing them to grieve and move on when it is appropriate. Metal CFs often have more difficulties. They may be continually searching for something that will give them a sense of their own value to make up for what they feel they were not given when they were young.
The main issues for a Metal CF
For the Metal CF certain needs remain unmet. This situation creates issues that centre on these areas:
• recognition
• approval
• feeling complete
• feeling adequate in the world
• finding inspiration
The extent to which someone is affected in these areas varies according to the person’s physical, mental and spiritual health. Relatively healthy Metal CFs have less disturbance with these aspects of life, whilst those with a greater energetic imbalance end up with their personalities being strongly influenced by this imbalance.
Because of these issues they may consciously or unconsciously ask themselves various questions such as:
• What will give my life meaning?
• Am I really OK?
• What do I need to be complete?
• How can I connect to the world?
• How can I find inspiration and meaning?
Responses to the issues
So far we have described how a weakness in the Metal Element leads to a lesser capacity to accept loss and move on or to take in the richness of life and feel satisfied. The issues that subsequently arise lead to a spectrum of typical ways of responding to the world. These are common, but not exclusive to Metal CFs. If other CFs have patterns of behaviour that seem similar it may indicate that there is a different set of issues underlying them or that their Metal Element is also imbalanced but is not the CF. Noticing these responses is therefore useful but does not replace colour, sound, emotion and odour as the principal way of diagnosing the Constitutional Factor.
The behavioural patterns are along a spectrum and can go between these extremes:
| 1fragile | –––––––––––– | unyielding |
| 2cut-off | –––––––––––– | seeking connection |
| 3resigned or inert | –––––––––––– | over-working and achieving |
| 4craving quality and purity | –––––––––––– | feeling messy and polluted |
| 5deeply moved | –––––––––––– | nonchalant |
These are discussed below.
Fragile – unyielding
Thin-skinned and delicate
Chinese medicine refers to the Lungs as the ‘fragile’ or ‘tender’ Organ. The skin is also associated with the Lung. When the Lung is weak the Metal CF can feel very ‘thin-skinned’ and delicate.
This emotional fragility is also connected with the po, which is the mental-spiritual aspect of the Lungs. In the previous chapter it was discussed that the po protects us from unwanted mental or psychic influences. Physically we are protected by the Lung’s defensive (wei) qi and psychically by the po. When the Lungs are weak a person becomes more vulnerable to outside influences.
Many Metal CFs describe being easily wounded. Some show this vulnerability whilst others appear to feel confident. Underneath, however, they may feel inadequate and lacking in self-esteem. If they admit how they feel many Metal CFs say that few people understand the depth of their fragility and weakness.
Over-protected and unyielding
Because most Metal CFs hate to show how delicate they are they will over-protect themselves. This enables them to appear to be ‘normal’ to the outside world even when they are feeling fragile inside. Whilst Fire CFs often leave themselves vulnerable, Metal CFs usually go to great lengths to defend themselves before the attack comes. It is almost as if they carry a shield over their lungs or have put up a ‘Keep Out: Private’ sign on their chest.
A Metal CF talked to his practitioner about his lack of self-confidence. He told her that he often felt like a failure. He hated to show how bad he felt and would come over to others as very arrogant sometimes. ‘It’s important not to show my vulnerability to others as it runs very deep. I can easily feel wounded by things others say and do. Then I don’t let them in. It makes me feel very alone at times.’
To other people Metal CFs can seem critical, harsh, cold or brittle. They may push people away by putting up a hard front and sometimes even cut off communications completely. This is in an effort to try to show that they don’t care and they may even believe their own story. It reduces the intensity of feelings of disappointment and lack of self-esteem. Denial is a marked characteristic of many Metal CFs. They may keep defending themselves even when it is unnecessary and no attack is being made.
One form of defence can be ‘nit picking’. For example, a Metal CF may feel hurt and criticised by some idle or imprecise comment that has been said about them. A person with a different CF might recognise the comment as incorrect but let it go or gently rebut it. Fragile Metal CFs, however, may feel injured and misjudged. On the surface they might not show their feelings but may immediately ask specific questions about the truth of this ‘judgement’, picking out any aspects of language or content that are incorrect. If all goes well the critic backs down and takes back the comment. The Metal CF may even be able to turn the criticism back on to the person who is finding fault and ‘prove’ that it is not the Metal CF who is in the wrong but the one who has made the comment.
Similarly many Metal CFs may feel personally threatened when someone attacks their opinions and/or beliefs. In this case they may not be able to ‘let go’ or give any ground about what they believe in. Stubbornness becomes an emotional necessity. By digging their heels in they prove to themselves that they are OK. If they give way they feel fragile and weak.
Criticising to protect
A more aggressive form of protection can be putting other people down. For example, in a situation where a Metal CF doesn’t feel comfortable in a group, they are likely to become defensive. The tendency for Metal CFs to feel cut off from others makes this a common situation. They may say to themselves or others, ‘I didn’t like those people anyway’. In this way they feel better about themselves and avoid looking at their responsibility for the situation. They may have missed the fact that to be accepted by the group they need to be pleasant. They may also defend themselves by fantasising. For instance, if not included in the group, they may convince themselves that it is because people are jealous or feel threatened by them. It is easier to fantasise that they are powerful than to admit that deep inside they are bruised and feel inadequate.
These behaviours may leave them feeling like an outsider and always slightly distanced from others.
A Metal CF talked to her practitioner about how she criticised other people if she felt hurt or badly treated. In general she preferred to get on with others but if she felt slighted it would eat away at her and then she would become critical. She admitted that this was because she felt diminished by the other person’s behaviour. Being critical made her feel stronger.
Cut-off – seeking connection
Feeling alienated
Metal CFs distance themselves because they feel fragile and their chests are weak. A weakened chest affects a person’s breathing, causing less qi to travel through the bloodstream. Consequently the other Organs don’t get revitalised, so the person may feel depleted in energy.
Weak breathing also affects people at the level of the spirit. Breathing connects us to the qi of Heaven, so if people don’t breathe properly they often feel cut off and alienated from the world around them. They are unable to make connections or receive what others try to give them. Consequently they begin to feel lonely and isolated. It is as if they have built a wall around themselves. Others can’t get in and they can’t get out.
When Metal CFs distance themselves, they can appear to be ‘cut-off’. Even when they are apparently fully engaged in activities or conversation, other people can feel that they are holding a part of themselves back. One result of this is that others often don’t quite know where they stand with Metal CFs. They might ask themselves: “What is going on in there?’ or ‘Who is this person?’ There are many degrees of distancing and many different observations that lead to this description.
How Metal CFs might cut off
Sometimes the cut-off quality will manifest as an inability for Metal CFs to express themselves in an open way. As a result some Metal CFs find work that requires a professional attitude or a clear role to play. Owing to their difficulties with being really present they may then stay in that role outside work so that they don’t have to be open and personal. Others spend more time than usual on their own, even though the rest of the family, social group or community are together. Another way that they might be cut off or distanced is by holding back or becoming more intellectual when others are expressing personal feelings. They can then avoid direct expression of feeling. This is a common tendency and is often the way that a Metal CF fails to meet the ‘needs of the situation’. There are times when people are distressed and require warmth, compassion and humanity. The inert nature of some Metal CFs makes this difficult.
Metal CFs rarely reveal their deepest concerns nor wear their hearts on their sleeve. Sometimes they may talk a lot, but rarely about themselves. They often keep their personal feelings very private. Often they are unable to immediately take in and deal with the feelings generated by an experience and they need to go away and process them by themselves. It is not that they have no feelings, in fact their feelings are often deep and intense. Keeping distanced from them, however, prevents them from becoming overwhelmed and most Metal CFs would hate to show that they are unable to cope.
A Metal CF described how throughout her life she had felt different from other people. When she was younger and healthier she felt there was something special about her and it was a pleasant feeling. Later in life she became depressed and a feeling of dullness set in. She commented that whether she felt well or not she always felt separate. ‘Some people say I seem slightly aloof. Other people might feel a separation from others but it’s more palpable with me. I love to be in relationship to other people but a part of me is always a little distant as well.’
It is interesting to note that in almost every spiritual tradition where people meditate in isolation they also focus on breathing. Breathing can stop people from feeling isolated and alienated and allows them to connect to something greater than themselves. This can stop them from getting depressed. Strengthening the Lungs and learning to breathe can help Metal CFs to connect to themselves and the world and enable them to become less cut off and alienated.
Seeking connection to the heavens
Because many Metal CFs feel distanced and cut off they have a strong desire to feel more connected. In order to do this they may search for inspiration more intensely than others. In the Chinese tradition the heavens represent the feeling of quality given by one’s father and the earth represents the feeling of being nurtured given by one’s mother. Humans beings stand between Heaven and Earth and need to be in contact with both. People can nourish themselves with food from the earth but still be lacking something because they have lost contact with heaven. They literally lack inspiration. Some compensate for feeling cut off and inert by seeking a connection with an image of a father or something inspirational outside themselves. This may be expressed through a need to adopt a religion or spiritual path or by finding teachers, mentors or other ‘father figures’ to guide them.
Traditionally, Christians have always prayed to the ‘Father in Heaven’. All the major monotheistic religions believe in a male God who resides in the heavens. Although this emphasis on the male archetype is changing, the quality brought by his role is still often seen as one that gives acknowledgement and recognition as well as authority and guidance. By receiving qi from the heavens the Lungs can be thought of as the main contact with the higher guiding part of ourselves. The earth satisfies people’s more basic needs, but the heavens are the location of their mental and spiritual nourishment and inspiration.
When people make contact with Heaven through meditating, chanting or praying they may feel more connected and experience greater satisfaction and fulfilment. Spending time in nature, especially being on mountains, can also nourish a person’s spirit in a similar way. Once the communication cord to Heaven is in place it can spill over into the rest of a person’s life. If the Lungs are weak, however, it may be difficult to make this connection. People may easily become disappointed, pessimistic and critical. They struggle to find anything that gives them a feeling of genuine fulfilment.
The experience of losing religious faith exemplifies how some Metal CFs feel. People who have had a strong religious conviction from early in life can encounter bleak and desolate feelings of emptiness, loss and lack of meaning if they lose their faith. They may experience deep feelings of grief but it is unusual for them to show this overtly or publicly. Such people usually keep their feelings well hidden and go about their life as normal. Their feelings of being cut off from their source of inspiration and their sadness, however, may stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Father figures
Rather than turning to a spiritual father some Metal CFs may strive to become as powerful as a father figure and gain respect from those around them. This is often a powerful drive for a Metal CF. Just as a Fire CF craves warmth, Metal CFs need the feeling that others respect them. They may outwardly shrug it off if people pay them a compliment or adopt a respectful attitude, but it is this recognition that they crave.
Alternatively they may find father figures to turn to. They may hold these people in high esteem and turn to them for support and advice. They may have a conflict between becoming independent from a father figure and at the same time wanting more dependence and connection. Independence temporarily makes them feel more whole. They don’t have to rely on another person – but they are isolated. Dependence temporarily gives them a feeling of being connected – but they can’t always rely on that person to be there.
When Metal CFs connect to their own spirit, they feel more connected to life and more comfortable in the world. Connecting makes them feel whole. Treatment on the Metal Element helps Metal CFs to establish and deepen this connection.
A Metal CF commented that although there were a lot of things that other people seemed to find fun, she couldn’t really be bothered with any of them because the spiritual path was so important. Rather than being connected to other people it seemed more essential for her to be connected to a ‘higher truth’ that was not to do with God or a religion. ‘It’s not that I don’t like other people, it’s more that people are not a primary thing for me. Finding my spiritual path and following it – that’s the only thing that seems worthwhile.’
Resigned or inert – over-working and achieving
Resignation
Many Metal CFs may feel that they are in a situation that is similar to that of Sisyphus, a character in Greek mythology. He was given the task of pushing a round stone up a mountain on which there was no level place for the stone to rest. When he came to the top and rested momentarily, the stone would roll back down. He would then retrace his steps down the mountain and push the stone up again. Like Sisyphus, Metal CFs want completion and connection but whatever appears to answer the quest never seems to work and the stone rolls down the hill again. If this happens too often the Metal CF may give up. What seemed like it might reveal the ‘gold nuggets’ that appear in the character for Metal has not worked. The consequence is often a state of resignation and cynicism.
Resignation is a natural response to continued failure. People feel sad and in despair and this results in a feeling of emptiness inside. Grief makes the qi ‘disappear’, leaving a void in its place. The glass is half empty rather than half full. Sometimes resignation can seem similar to the attitude of detachment prescribed by spiritual teachers, but it is not the same. People who are resigned will passively endure whatever comes their way because they have given up. They are surviving life rather than meeting it full on. They may complain of tiredness, which feels very physical to them. They are suffering from a resignation of the spirit and a lack of zest for life. Their eyes often lack vitality and sparkle whereas a true state of spiritual detachment is accompanied by an inner radiance that beams out through bright, shining eyes.
Cynicism
A common consequence of resignation is cynicism and a tendency to criticise. The effect of the belief that they are flawed can be taken by some Metal CFs to mean that all their efforts are worthless. They may feel that everything they do is futile and doomed to failure and they may project this on to others by becoming disdainful and critical. They may also be as critical of themselves as other people and set impossible standards that no one can reach.
The resignation and cynicism can easily become associated with arrogance, a quality sometimes attributed to Metal CFs. It is well known that arrogance always masks feelings of inadequacy. One way of coping with the Sisyphean failure is to claim success or a special understanding of life. This may compensate and make Metal CFs feel that they have internal quality. In the process of attributing this to themselves they may insinuate that others are not this way and are inferior.
Continual achieving
At the other extreme to being inert or resigned many Metal CFs strive to achieve. They may work harder than everyone else, to compensate for feeling that they have no real worth and value. Metal CFs might still be working when everyone else has gone home and in order to give themselves an additional sense of worth may also work at weekends. This can be contrasted with some Earth CFs who also work excessively hard but for a different reason. This is because they are unable to say ‘no’ to people who want their sympathy and support.
A Metal CF described herself to her practitioner by saying, ‘When I do something I do it well, or I might as well not bother. There is no part of myself that can be half hearted. It’s all or nothing really.’ She went on to say that she set impossible standards for herself and also for the world around her. She was easily disappointed by people who did not live up to those standards but equally she could disappoint herself as the standards were impossible for her to obtain. She was left constantly striving and wanting to do things better and better.
Becoming successful or the ‘best’
Metal CFs might also decide to try and gain a sense of worth and self-respect by becoming successful and gaining recognition. They think that if they are successful it will make them feel more complete. Recognition is a basic need for many people. Compared to other people, Metal CFs might already be getting more recognition but be having difficulty taking it in. They then try to obtain even more as a way to lessen the feeling of not having enough.
Metal CFs may also try to feel complete by becoming the ‘best’ at whatever they do. They are often more competitive than others and may become experts with specialist knowledge in certain aspects of their work. As it may be impossible to be good at everything, Metal CFs often try to be outstanding at one specific area. They may completely throw themselves into whatever they are trying to achieve. This search for excellence has many positive aspects but it easily becomes compulsive. The task in hand may be being a research scientist, a housewife and mother or a window cleaner. The theme running through all of these is the motivation to do well. Unfortunately Metal CFs may set themselves such impossibly high standards that they never quite do it well enough and always feel as if they are falling below their expectations.
Because they are constantly criticising themselves many Metal CFs always feel dissatisfied. They find it hard to acknowledge what they have achieved. Satisfaction and contentment are normal and nourishing states for most people. They may result from having helped a child to read, supported and listened to a friend in need, from having written ten letters or from having put up a garden fence. After putting effort into something there is a normal time when people stop and allow themselves to say, ‘Yes, I’ve done that well.’ Metal CFs may find it difficult to reflect on what they have done and subsequently to take in praise or feel satisfaction. They often cut this time short and reject acknowledgement, from the inside or outside, and thus they stay hungry.
Craving quality and purity – messy and polluted
Searching for quality
Some Metal CFs might choose to assert their quality and worth by living a luxurious lifestyle and owning ‘classy’ possessions. They might buy expensive designer clothes, own a deluxe model car, send their children to the most expensive schools or live in the most upmarket part of town. They think that the ‘right’ accessories can also indicate that a person has quality and value. Metal CFs may become obsessed with wearing valuable jewellery, having high quality shoes or even an ‘accessory’ such as a handsome man or beautiful woman on their arm. They may want to be seen in the right places, doing the right things. A high status job may also be important. All of these things can give the impression of quality and at times at least it may make a Metal CF feel that they are important and better than other people. At other times it can still leave them feeling empty and dissatisfied as of course there are always going to be richer, more successful people to emulate.
The question the Metal CFs might ask themselves is: ‘Does this activity just generate attention and look good or does it give me internal satisfaction?’ The more they have on the outside does not mean more on the inside, so the quandary remains the same. Taking in the achievement is the issue, not generating massive amounts of it.
A Metal CF came in for treatment and showed her practitioner her latest beautifully cut designer suit. She told the practitioner that she would only buy clothes with a decent label and would sometimes search for days for the right accessory to go with what she was wearing. ‘I know it’s ridiculous. I feel so much better when I’m wearing good-quality clothes.’
Finding meaning
Another deeper way to gain internal richness is for Metal CFs to ask themselves questions about the meaning of what they are doing. They may ask, ‘Why should I do this?’ ‘What purpose does it serve?’ These questions are not exclusive to Metal CFs, but whatever activity is happening, whether they are playing cards, working at the office, baby-sitting or sitting on the beach on holiday, they may be unconsciously evaluating if it is meaningful. They may then try to find a greater sense of purpose in what they do. This may be through things such as seeking knowledge, truth, beauty, the right organisation to join or the right exercises or developmental practice to follow. Fulfilment will probably still elude them, so they continue to search.
Some Metal CFs may be acutely aware of the lessening quality of life generally. They may also look around them with regret as they see falling standards and increasing superficiality in the world. They easily become nostalgic. Where the major influence on people was once their culture, family and work, they now see TV, fast food and being famous as prime influences. It used to be better before. The special quality that was there is now gone.
As a result of their search for quality, some Metal CFs may frequently appear to chop and change and may go through a number of different professions, spiritual practices or friends. This can give the impression to others that their life is very erratic. Externally things might be changing but on the inside it is the same search for connection.
No quality
Many Metal CFs flip back and forth between feeling that they have no quality and feeling that they are better quality than other people. Some may have an inner sense of poverty and deprivation because they think they are worthless and unimportant. This feeling may lead to them feeling depressed and self-critical. How they look, feel and take care of themselves may reflect this. Rather than buying the best quality they may think and act as if they are poor. They may buy cheap clothes or ones that come from second-hand shops and may even prefer to wear clothes that are worn. Anything immaculate doesn’t feel quite right.
Feeling polluted
Some Metal CFs feel polluted. This is especially true if the Large Intestine is sluggish. In this case waste materials in the body are stored instead of eliminated. In order to try to clear out the pollution they may fast or take enemas or may eat health foods in order to ‘de-toxify’. They may feel unclean inside and, despite washing, always feel or look a little dirty. Their skin may not be clear and their hair may be lifeless.
Mentally they may be just as congested and they might hold on to rigid beliefs or old grudges and find it hard to let in new thoughts or ideas. They may compare themselves to others and find themselves wanting. They may feel that they may never be as good, powerful or clever as other people.
The tendency to feel inferior to others is a reflection of a Metal CF’s lack of feelings of self-worth. Self-criticism is often insistent and harsh. These feelings are not usually shown to others so the practitioner may need to win an especially deep level of trust if Metal CFs are to open up. It is easy for this kind of Metal CF to dwell on their shortcomings in particular situations and they often find it hard to forgive themselves for their perceived inadequacies. This is the opposite end of the spectrum from those Metal CFs who hate to admit to any failings and therefore find it easier to blame others.
Deeply moved – nonchalant
Special moments
It is normal for everyone to have special moments. At these times extra qi runs through the chest as people take in and acknowledge the wonder of what they are experiencing. For some Metal CFs these feelings can be so overwhelming that they find it easier to avoid them and play them down. At the other extreme some Metal CFs attempt to capture the specialness in every moment to make up for the lack of richness they normally feel inside.
Some Metal CFs can easily feel tearful and overwhelmed by ordinary events in life. They may feel a person’s pain and suffering. The grief and melancholy inside them is often so strong that when they feel the tears well up it is painful and they instinctively push them down again. Many rarely actually let go and fully express their tears. Crying in this way would be too overwhelming so they are more likely to choke up or weep a small amount at a time.
They may choke up if they or others are rewarded for something they have done well. This may be pleasurable but at the same time overwhelming.
A Metal CF said that she was often feeling that she’d lost something and that she’d had something but it had now gone. For example, she said that she often wished she could go back to when her children were little. Because she had these feelings it increased the specialness of other moments in her life. She would think, ‘Oh, this is really nice so I’d better treasure it right now.’ She said she thought she felt the moment more acutely than other people and would often feel pleasure tinged with poignancy.
Some Metal CFs can feel totally overwhelmed by the beauty and special qualities of life. Some may express this artistically and see a beautiful sculpture in an ordinary piece of wood or feel moved to paint a picture of a golden sunset. Others may feel stirred to write poignant poetry about a special moment. Their experience may be extremely emotional and affect them deeply. Some Metal CFs savour these profound experiences. They may keep them to themselves but feel them deeply. Others may want people to partake in the experience. If the special times are expressed creatively, Metal CFs may want to be recognised by the outside world for their unique gift. Some may gain this recognition but, of course, others don’t.
Some people may see Metal CFs as too serious about themselves and rather ‘precious’. What Metal CFs find extraordinary might seem mundane to other people. If others do not recognise the special quality of the Metal CF she or he may feel disappointed. They may be dismissive of others for their lack of depth, rather than recognising that everyone has different tastes and experiences.
Nonchalant
Some Metal CFs underplay their experiences. If something special comes up it can be easier to deny it than to acknowledge it. By ignoring their feelings they can avoid becoming overwhelmed.
The grown-up son of a Metal CF used to become exasperated and at the same time amused by his father. They would regularly meet for lunch and catch up on what had been happening in their lives. The Metal CF would always understate what had happened to him and would almost forget to mention that he had been promoted at work or had changed his job. The son (who was a Fire CF) would, on the other hand, be bursting with the news of a job change or other life event and couldn’t wait to tell his Dad, and anyone else who would care to listen.
Metal CFs can behave nonchalantly by speaking about important events and experiences as if they are commonplace occurrences. Everything is ‘no big deal’. They may have had an accident, have lost their job, their best friend died, or on the positive side won an important competition. These might all be spoken about with the same matter-of-factness as going for a walk, eating a meal or taking a shower. The nonchalance is a protective measure. It stops them from becoming overwhelmed by the awe and wonder of special feelings and also stops them from being overpowered by feelings of grief and sadness. Any feelings that go through the lung area can be difficult for the Metal CF to experience fully.
Sometimes a Metal CF may act nonchalantly to avoid showing how worthless they really feel. If they stood up and talked about themselves they wouldn’t expect people to be interested and if people did take notice it might be too overwhelming anyway. Those who did not feel acknowledged when they were young may still not expect their feelings to be acknowledged now. Because of this they may continue to ignore how they feel, especially if they think they may need support from others when expressing their needs. It is easier to show that they are independent and can look after themselves and they may look ahead to the next activity or project rather than looking back at any grief or loss. This ensures that life can remain on an even keel with no one suspecting what is really going on inside.
Summary
1 A diagnosis of a Metal CF is made primarily by observation of a white facial colour, a weeping voice, a rotten odour and imbalance in the emotion of grief.
2 Metal CFs tend to have issues and difficulties with:
• recognition
• approval
• feeling complete
• feeling adequate in the world
• finding inspiration
3 Because of these issues Metal CFs’ behaviour and responses to situations tend to fluctuate between being:
| •fragile | –––––––––––– | unyielding |
| •cut-off | –––––––––––– | seeking connection |
| •resigned or inert | –––––––––––– | over-working and achieving |
| •craving quality and purity | –––––––––––– | feeling messy and polluted |
| •deeply moved | –––––––––––– | nonchalant |
